First of all, let me say that I highly recommend to planning brides and grooms that they take no traditions for granted. There are no "have to's" when it comes to wedding planning. Many wedding traditions only stretch back a century, not to the beginning of time. The way weddings are done is constantly changing and evolving, some traditions more slowly than others, so pick and choose which ones you like and which ones you don't! The ones that worked for us might not work for someone else, and vice versa.
Here are my own opinions and what we did for our wedding.
Traditions we opted out of (and why)
Walking with father down the aisle -I can see how this is a very lovely gesture and a very important moment for some daughters and their fathers. For Chris and I, it felt like it could be a false gesture, as we'd been together for over six years and living together for four. We also didn't like the idea of the wedding starting out with my "grand entrance"; we wanted to begin the day as equals. We found other ways to honour our parents throughout the day. |  Photo by Mischa Bartkow |
The "grand entrance" of the head table
-As a frequent watcher of "Say Yes to the Dress", "Rich Bride, Poor Bride", etc., my least favourite moment is always the bride and groom running into the reception, the bride pumping her bouquet into the air. I'm not the bouquet-pumping type, and while I knew we could simply walk into the room, I couldn't get that image out of my head.
Throwing the bouquet
-Again, I absolutely see how this can be a fun event and a time for all girls to rally together. I personally felt uncomfortable at the thought of doing it because I didn't feel like wedding was a "goal" we were all working towards. It's an exciting time and a great honour, but not a necessity of life. However, for some brides it's just a fun and lighthearted thing to do, which is great. We also did not do the garter toss for the same reasons, although with my short dress retrieving the garter wouldn't have been too exciting. Good thing we decided not to, because I forgot to wear one anyway.
The official parent dance
-There aren't very many private moments to be had on a wedding day. The bride and groom are always the centre of attention. We wanted to dance with our parents when we felt like it, and when it would be a little more casual and relaxed.
Traditions We Used
Wearing White
-The tradition of the bride wearing white is a fairly new one and was more of a fashion trend than a symbolic statement (I won't get into that here; you can wikipedia it if you wish). It was a tradition that I found very confusing. In general, fashion experts tend to advise against wearing white (especially on one's lower half) because it never has a slimming effect and can also wash people out, and yet this was the preferred choice for brides? I think all colours of dresses should be considered equally, based on a bride's colouring and preferences! Having had already chosen the pink "sparkle baby" dress to wear, I went back to Fashion Crimes to pick up the gold coat I had been eying to wear over over my dress at the ceremony. The gold coat was gone, but I unexpectedly fell in love with the white version. The fact that I was following a tradition was a coincidence.
| Veils and Bouquets -They're just pretty, aren't they? Not a necessity, but it didn't matter to me how the tradition started or evolved. When else would I get to wear a veil or carry flowers all day? (I mean, since I grew out of my Anne of Green Gables phase.) Traditional Vows -We may have briefly considered writing our own vows, but we felt more comfortable saying the traditional ones. |  |
Photo by Mischa Bartkow |
Cake Cutting
-How awkward was this? In retrospect, I wish we hadn't done it. It took up valuable time that we could have used for dancing. We also didn't know what do to when we were finished: just walk away? Smash cake into each other's faces? Feed each other? We just walked away awkwardly as some people applauded, and others continued to drink. We look as awkward as we felt in the pictures too (pictures will not be posted here for that reason).
-We had our friends sing "In the Still of the Night" while we danced around the conservatory. We then did our ridiculous choreographed dance to "Paradise by the Dashboard Lights", which we had fought over for weeks in our tiny living room. Choreographed dances are fun, but after a day of work and an evening of wedding planning, the last thing you want to start doing at midnight is listening to Meatloaf. (We had submitted to the show "Rock the Reception" to have our first dance choreographed by Tabitha and Napoleon, but were rejected because we're Canadian.)
Real Weddings and Traditions
Haley and Amil
| Haley and Amil were married in Cape Breton, Nova Scotia, but decided to honour their roots by performing a sand ceremony at their wedding. Sand from Morrison's Beach in PEI (where Haley grew up) and from Beer-sheva, Israel (where Amil's family is from) were combined in a vase hand blown by a friend of theirs. What a special way to bring family and friends together. |  |
Photo by Abbie Neary |
 | Mark and Lin, with their photographers, decided to set up a "photo booth" where guests could go throughout the reception, play with some props, and take some silly photos of themselves. What a great wedding souvenir. As you can see, the Jackman family didn't enjoy it at all. |
Photo by Julie Broadbent Photography |
Lin's father, who walked her down the aisle, has mobility issues, so Lin honoured her mother by dancing with her as Mark danced with his mother. It was a really lovely moment, and a great twist on the traditional parent dance. |  |
Photo by Julie Broadbent Photography |
If you included any traditions at your wedding, or started new ones, or did an old one with a twist, please let me know and I will feature you!
No comments:
Post a Comment